It’s about dating with transparency, not to gain advantage so we can cut the sh*t and be honest about whatever it is we are looking for.It’s about having sex without neglecting our sexuality and experience (or understanding) of intimacy.Ultimately, it’s not about the social shifts that are born as a result of technology or generational mindsets.It’s about the way we navigate that culture while keeping our own needs, desires and sense of self intact.Many of us may find ourselves trying to carefully tip-toe out of an unfamiliar apartment into a waiting Uber, after waking up to last night’s (likely vodka-fuelled) decision.
It’s about respecting our needs, desires, emotions and bodies first and foremost, no exceptions. What isn’t fine, is skimming over or abandoning your core desires or intentions to impress a date or play it cool, assuming that they might be dating or sleeping with a handful of other people at any given time.I took a slow sip of my coffee and asked for more detail, the writer in me already tugging at the deeper context of our girl-talk. Definitely won’t happen again.” I looked back at her, “Yeah, I do know. That sucks.” She shrugged off my question, and our conversation trailed over to it’s next topic. I mean I had high hopes, and he’s a nice guy, but as it was happening I felt like I was just staring at the ceiling kind of waiting for it to be over.To get comfortable with everything that we are and everything that we want, and be totally unapologetic about that. If you’re looking for sex, no strings attached, own that.If you’re craving more from your sexual experiences and the exploration of your sexuality, own that.We, as millennials, have more opportunity than ever before to communicate and connect.Hell, we are literally connected on every imaginable level. We’ve become masters at saying a lot, without really giving too much away. We love to minimize our sexual expression in favour of just scratching an itch or using an 8 hour courtship as a means to an end.We aren’t passengers in our life, and we aren’t victims to a greater culture or trend.Despite how it may sometimes feel, we always have the right (and capacity) to control our situation and social and romantic scenarios.We are constantly expressing ourselves via apps, social media and more, but we’re often more infatuated with illusions and perceptions than the substance that exists underneath it.I think, more often than not, we need to check ourselves and break away from the distractions of new social norms and expectations to have an open conversation with ourselves.