Since we were 13 and introduced to concepts like abstinence, sexuality purity, and books like , we’ve been drilled with teachings that we should pattern our romantic relationships after Mary and Joseph (minus the immaculate conception, of course) and in some extreme situations, Adam and Eve. We’re taught not to date for recreation, but with marriage in mind.Of course, Adam and Eve had it a lot easier considering that they were the only two humans on the planet. Unfortunately, we’re rarely offered a realistic glance at what this actually looks like.As I lamented over which of three I’d cut off and which one would remain, a very simple question emerged: “Why?” Why would I limit myself and my chances of of meeting the right person by only dating one man at a time?
They follow up, they text, we talk, make plans…it’s all good. On the other hand, I don’t know how to manage this.And while I was hooking up with (not sleeping with) both of them, something didn’t feel right. One woman even called me on it – “How dare you get online after our great date? It was my right to look for other women if I didn’t feel I could commit to her. You’ve never heard of a woman standing on the altar with two men, have you? ” Only you can determine whether you can have sex with two guys simultaneously without a commitment to either of them. Either you will get attached or THEY will get attached – and since you haven’t figured out your feelings yet, I would think that attachment is something you’d want to avoid.Just as it’s her right to keep her options open until she finds a boyfriend-worthy man. I predict that by the time you read this, Maggie, everything will have sorted itself out.I recall one time that I was dating two women simultaneously for about a month. My ambivalence was a feeling, more than a logical choice. You may not know the front-runner for the open position of “boyfriend”, but since you’re the CEO of Maggie, Inc, you’re going to take your sweet time to see how the interns perform in a limited capacity. In general, I think this is the best policy, because it’s a clear dividing line that any man can understand.Both were cute, smart, cool, late 20’s, Jewish, and interested in me. Which is why I kept looking around on JDate for that entire month that I was seeing both of them. The faster they follow up, the more work they choose to take on, the quality of their performance – all will start to differentiate these two men to make your decision a lot easier. “I only sleep with boyfriends, and until we figure out if an exclusive relationship is the right course of action for both of us, we’re gonna have to just stick with some incredible foreplay!They seem to be feeling pretty strongly so I feel some pressure to figure this out. So, Maggie, you’re seeing two great guys for 2-3 weeks.You didn’t give me any identifying information that would allow me to recommend one man or the other, so all I’m left with is the general idea of dating multiple men simultaneously.As a result, dating became somewhat of a stressful process for me.It would start off normal, but I’d eventually find myself subconsciously wondering if the guy I was seeing was my God-sent husband or praying ridiculously (and in an embarrassing manner) hard for things to work out.Things have been going well, and I give a lot of credit to what I have learned from your book, emails and this site.However, this is not something I have ever done before and I am having a hard time with the idea of juggling.