(And that’s not a loaded question; you can certainly decide for plenty of legitimate reasons that you do.) But if you decide that you do, then yeah, I’d avoid hanging out with your male coworker socially, unless you’re prepared to potentially lose your job over it.
(In addition to facing dismissal for fraternizing with a man, you also should not appear unescorted in public or dress immodestly.
Throw in the fact that they have a pattern of firing the women in these couples but not the men, and there’s something pretty disturbing there.
I’d say that you have to decide if you want to work for a company that operates that way.
If you’re not going against company policy, the relationship isn’t with someone in your reporting structure, or won’t cause additional strife in the office, share the information with coworkers organically and not with an announcement at lunch or a public display of affection, suggests Cunningham.
Tell your boss first—don’t ask for permission but rather show that you care about the business and your careers, advises Williams.
Your boss can even help to create personal and professional boundaries.”How do you treat your partner at work?“There are certain prejudices against people who are romantically involved with the boss—people would question promotions and raises.”Even though everyone’s fair play if your company doesn’t have a policy, Williams says that it’s difficult for a subordinate to consent to a relationship with a supervisor because of the inherent pressure and influence of his or her advances.“Your company is the one that pays the harassment bill and insurance doesn’t cover it,” says Williams. “If you think you can hide your affair from your coworkers, think again,” says Williams.When dating a colleague, your days of gossiping with coworkers about your love life are over, says Williams.Since your partner is someone else’s coworker or boss, create some ground rules as a couple about sharing personal information.I carpool with a male coworker, and he and I have become friends.He would like to hang out and possibly go to the movies and such things together.The employer can act on its suspicions and circumstantial evidence.” This is basically the same as if your employer suspected you of violating any other policy (or even doing something they didn’t like, whether prohibited by a policy or not): If, for instance, your employer suspected you of being rude to clients or watching too much You Tube at your desk, they wouldn’t need to present you with evidence. In this case, though, Bryan goes on to say that they’d still be wise to only act if they have solid evidence: “Acting on flimsy suspicions would only serve to alienate employees, lower morale because they fear ‘big brother’ is prying into their personal lives, and risk losing good and loyal employees without a good reason.If an employee was let go under this policy without solid evidence and that employee came back and alleged the real reason for the discharge was gender, race, age, etc., then the employer would have a weak defense since its ‘legitimate business reason’ for the termination was so flimsy.” So there are the facts on legality. From the employer’s side, there are all kinds of reasons not to want couples in your organization — but banning dating upon penalty of firing is a very old-fashioned policy and out of touch with how most modern workplaces operate.If indeed that’s how your company does it, that’s sex discrimination and is illegal.(Or at least it’s illegal if your company is big enough to be covered by federal discrimination statutes — meaning that it has 15 or more employees.) As for the question of whether they need reasonable suspicion, employers don’t generally need “proof” before taking disciplinary action against employees in matter, but because the issue of romantic relations is a sticky one, I turned to employment attorney Bryan Cavanaugh to weigh in.