Sure, you’re having a great time together a few times a month, but do you really know where you stand, relationship-wise? As conflict is an avoidable part of life, discovering how your date deals with it is an important part of getting to know him/her better. If your date needs a night on the couch to feel energized and rejuvenated, try to respect that, too. How does your date make decisions regarding big-ticket items?
Is one of you hoping it will turn into marriage and kids while the other is commitment-phobic and enjoys seeing more than one person at a time? Money and sex are two driving forces behind divorce.
Family, both immediate and extended, play an important role in who we’ve been and who we are.
Some relationships can’t withstand differing views on physical contact, so discuss this early and often. What hobby or side project keeps her up late at night? Can you support these passions and projects and get excited for them? Don’t just meet friends in a large group setting; intentionally get to know your date’s best pals. While introverts and extroverts can definitely make it work, being honest about your social life — how often you go out, how late you party, how many quiet nights in you crave — can help you both navigate busy, merging schedules. If you need to be doing something project-based or social to feel invigorated, share that. Does he aspire to living well below his means, giving most of his income away to charity?
We have to realize our spouse and marriage are worth that sacrifice.
It can be hard to assess how someone deals with conflict until you’ve had your first fight, but discussing previous conflicts and their subsequent resolutions can help you both understand how each of you deals with arguments. You don’t need to disclose financial details early on in a relationship, but be aware of how you both approach payday, splurges and saving for a rainy day. Can you become your partner’s greatest cheerleader and champion? Is parenthood, financial success, creative pursuits or travel on the wish list?
Being in a relationship requires certain behaviors from both people involved.
How we speak, handle our anger and show affection, all have the potential to make or break our partnership.
But think about things like your appearance; it seems shallow, but showing you care about yourself tells your partner you care about your relationship, too. Even the least intrepid among us would try the most daring things our new paramour suggested. It's that rut problem again, not to mention mortgage, kids and jobs. Sharp talk ("There you go again, leaving the toilet seat up," or "Oh, great, another call from your annoying sister") usually masks some other problem, says Dr. "You snap and snipe because you're angry about something else, and you redirect that anger onto something minor." How to break it: Have regular check-ins with each other to air out problems.
How to break it: All the little things do work, like love notes and special treats.