NOTE: We are re-posting this article on Warning Signs – Blames You for His/Her Anger to allow you to read some of the excellent comments we’ve received from those who are or have been in an abusive relationship.Please be aware that these comments are for informational purposes only; we cannot verify the validity of each individual comment.(Notice that many of the early warning signs we wrote about earlier build upon one another.)As a result of placing the blame on you, the abuser feels entitled to his/her reaction to the situation whether it is physical or emotional abuse.The partner then blames you again for “making” them abuse you. Even if you do everything in your power to please your partner, there is always something that will set him/her off.A person can be angry over little irritations or huge problems, but it is the way that person deals with those feelings that can reveal a potential abuser. Yet, most of us let the anger slide after cooling off a bit.Has your partner ever said something like “You made me hit you” or “You just make me so mad” or “If you wouldn’t make me jealous, I wouldn’t be so angry”? An abuser will not take responsibility for his/her own actions and reactions.And the “I’ll give you a call” bit is possibly nothing more than a social nicety like, “Take Care” or “Come See Us”. “Yes, I’m interested in a serious relationship.” Really Means – “I’m carefully assessing every woman I meet, and when I find one that feels just right. “You’re beautiful.” Really Means – “You’re really beautiful.” Sometimes men say what they mean.
I’m sure you don’t want a personality critique so this is an easier way to end it.” Break-ups are hard on everyone.
He may come back, but you’ll need to ask yourself if you really want to be with a man who is so unsure about his desire to be with you. I might call you, but don’t hold your breath.” When it comes to how the man feels about dating you, this sentence means nothing.
The fact that he had a nice time while eating, drinking and talking with you says nothing about his desire to start a relationship with you.
Some time ago there was an e Harmony Advice discussion about what a woman really means when she asks to split the check after dinner on the first date. Most women agreed that even though she asked to split the check, what she really wants is the man to refuse to let her and pay the whole thing himself. We thought it might be nice to examine some of the ways that men, while dating, say one thing and mean another. “I’d love to come in, but I have to get up early tomorrow.” Really means one of these two options: • 99% – “I don’t feel great chemistry with you.” • 1% – “I’m dog tired and I have to get up early.” It is not unheard of for a man to be tired at 10 p.m. If you’ve been out having a dinner date, seeing some entertainment or talking all evening, fatigue can set in.
But if you invite a man in and he refuses, the chances are very good he’s not feeling the strong tug of chemistry.