The physical intimacy of those junior high relationships had nothing to do with love or real affection. In high school, I got serious about my walk with God and became actively involved in the church youth group.We just mimicked what we saw older kids do and what we watched in the movies. I put an I'm Worth Waiting For" sticker on my NIV Student Bible and promised to stay a virgin until I got married.I've come to realize that I have no business asking for a girl's heart and affections if I'm not ready to back up my request with a lifelong commitment. But with what I've learned as I've sought God's will for my life, I know that a relationship right now wouldn't be best for me or for the one I'd date. God wants us to seek guidance from scriptural truth, not feeling. " This is the awesome part: When we make God's glory and other people's needs our priority, we position ourselves to receive God's best in our lives as well. In the past I made the starting point of my relationships what I wanted instead of what God wanted. I not only hurt others, I hurt myself, and, most seriously, I sinned against God.Until I can do that, I'd only be using that woman to meet my short-term needs, not seeking to bless her for the long term. Instead, by avoiding romance before God tells me I'm ready for it, I can better serve girls as a friend, and I can remain free to keep my focus on the Lord. Smart love looks beyond personal desires and the gratification of the moment. I looked out for my needs and fit others into my agenda. But when I reversed my attitude and made my main priority in relationships pleasing God and blessing others, I found true peace and joy. When I stopped viewing girls as potential girlfriends and started treating them as sisters in Christ, I discovered the richness of true friendship.But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. The only worry was being dumpedyou never wanted to get dumped, you wanted to do the dumping.A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David's other hand. One girl I knew had the fastest breakup routine ever: When she was ready to end a relationship, she'd say, "Skippy-bop, you just got dropped." But soon, just saying you were going out with someone wasn't enough.
The basis of this new attitude is what I call "smart love." Paul describes this kind of love in Philippians 1:9-10: And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ.
Does love motivate the guy who sleeps with his girlfriend when it will scar her emotionally and damage her relationship with God? They need to "get smart" and realize how their actions affect others.
Does sincerity motivate the girl who leads a guy along then breaks up with him when she finds someone better? In recent years, I've tried to let sincere and intelligent love guide me, and as I've done this, I've come to some pretty intense conclusions for my life.
During Sunday morning services we passed notes about who liked whom, who was going out with whom, and who had broken up with whom. We began to struggle with the physical side of our relationship.
Wednesday night youth group meetings served as our own opportunities to play "Love Connection," a game that resulted in broken hearts littering the foyer. Since I was the only one in the youth group who had the nerve to talk to her, she wound up liking me. After my folks were asleep, Kelly and I would spend hours on the phone, often late into the night, talking about everything and nothing in particular. We knew we couldn't be as close physically as we were emotionally. "No, it's over." We broke up two years after we'd met. Something Better I was seventeen years old when my relationship with Kelly ended. " God answered that plea, but not in the way I had expected.