You would think “don't be a dick” would be obvious, but there are apparently legions of people (mostly dudes) who adopt crappy pick-up artist tactics in their online dating lives, and think they might get lucky by sending vaguely (or blatantly) insulting messages to unsuspecting recipients (negging is actually a thing! Is there some low-self-esteem lady out there who might respond to a message about how ugly she is?
Sure, maybe, but the odds are slim — and since this is the internet, even women who have been strongly socialized to be nice to cretins in bars are able to hit the delete key.
Responding to a few items in a person’s profile will take somewhere between three and eight sentences; if you find yourself writing a six-paragraph missive, work that delete key.
We can tell when your message is copied and pasted to multiple people.
So instead of stating the obvious (“you look like a small child and I enjoy sexing small children”), point to what it was that attracted you to their personality (or at least the fragment of their personality that they put on the internet).Oh and just to be clear: Commenting on how a woman could be your Nubian queen or your sweet Oriental flower is not substantive.Even if you do have a creepy racial fetish, announcing it will do you zero favors (although if you do have a creepy racial fetish, maybe deal with that through pornography and therapy, and don’t bring real live human beings into it?Online dating: It is not that hard, and yet so many people make it so hard.I’ve been documenting OKCupid atrocities for a while now, and a lot of themes crop up in the terrible messages that daters send me for, um, critiquing.So don’t whine about your lack of a love life, don’t lament the fact that you’re such a nice guy but women are such bitches, and definitely don't threaten to kill yourself because you’re lonely. If you want extra credit (and a better chance at a response) be a little bit witty.Remember that nearly everyone likes someone who takes an interest in them. Stick to these rules, be kinda funny, try not to be a cliché machine (you love to laugh and couldn’t live without your family and friends?! ) and your profile should be at least marginally acceptable (and hopefully won’t end up here for the wrong reasons).So respond to what’s in their profile and ask a question or two. ___If you've got your own online dating horror stories, drop them below, or submit them anonymously.Our experts tested every major online dating site, ranking each below based on size, usability, success rate, and more. Browse profiles on any of the best dating sites 100% free: Dating is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users.The beauty of internet dating is that we all get to specify what we want.Respect that and don’t waste anyone’s time – including your own.