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If you're still in school or not out on your own, disregard this for the moment. Your intentions and your feelings, to the extent that you can discern them and it is appropriate for you to share them, should be clear.

But if you're out of college and do not feel specifically called to singleness for biblical reasons, why are you not looking to be married? Albert Mohler has talked about a growing culture in society and in our churches of perpetual boyhood; some psychologists call it the "Peter Pan syndrome." As I said, in the Bible, marriage and family are considered a natural stage of progression toward manhood. Part of your role even at this early stage is to protect the woman of your interest from unnecessary risk and vulnerability by providing a safe context in which she can respond.

True, these passages refer to marriage, but it is wise and right to set patterns that will serve you well in marriage, especially if one accepts the premise that the purpose of dating is to find a marriage partner.

What does this actually look like in a budding relationship between two people?

Finally, let me advocate the initiating of a relationship under some accountability structure.

I mentioned the woman's father or family because until the second half of the 20th century, that's largely how it was done.

As I've written on this site before, "practice" and "recreation" are not good reasons to date.

It is simply God's design and assignment of equally valuable roles among spiritually equal beings. Briefly, biblical support for this position is found, among other passages, in the creation order in Genesis 2, in 1 Corinthians 11: 7-9, and Ephesians 5.

First, the man should initiate asking the woman out.

Whether this means approaching the woman herself or her father or someone filling that role instead of her father, it should be the guy that starts things off.

As a practical matter, are you responsible and holy in the way you possess your own spirit, mind and body?

As you move into the stage of life in which you begin to seriously consider marriage generally or a particular relationship, your first step should be to soberly reflect, before God, on your own spiritual walk and maturity in Christ.

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  2. What Should I Say. for some talking tips on the five toughest dating topics. Heed her advice. How to tell your date you want to be exclusive

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