I hadn’t seen anyone else talking about their experiences with anxiety openly and although it scared me to do it I wanted to help others and to share my experience.At the time, my anxiety had appeared to have been the same since the age of around 14. I knew which things to avoid, I knew which situations would set me off and more than anything, I was aware of the things I was missing out on because of it.There are a few reasons as to why I wanted to do this update.Firstly, because it’s been a while since I’ve talked about it in depth and my last proper chat about it was in 2012, and as you can imagine, things have moved on since then.Missing out on things had become so normal throughout my late teens and early twenties, that I didn’t seem to care anymore.
The torture I’d put myself through trying to sit through my brothers film at his premier, something I wanted so desperately to sit and enjoy with every bone in my body and my mind just wouldn’t let me.
Suddenly the little things I never had to worry about, were big things and with my channel still growing, I knew these would need to be tackled head on.
Although I never made it aware how bad the bad moments were, around the end of 2014, they were particularly awful and I was done being “Zoella with anxiety”.
I always used to throw every unsteady emotion into an anxious state and now I’m able to distinguish the difference.
I actually know what being nervous feels like now and I embrace it.