He say, "Men are total wusses when it comes to approaching women.If they don't feel confident that you want them to come over, then they'll almost never make the move." Evidently, male clients are always asking how to be sure that a woman actually wants them to come over, and Adam advises that a smile gives them "a solid 80% chance" since "there is no 100% certainty when it comes to dating".Although I'm a friendly person, I'm definitely on the shy side about making the first move.All you braver ladies out there who can do it, I salute you.In fact, you may be experiencing attractions of deprivation, where you try to recreate the issues from childhood in your romantic partners.I don't know about you guys, but I hardly ever meet guys in regular life situations.The American way is loud and even arrogant at times. Call it the revolving door or hedging – there’s the idea in the American approach to dating that there’s always something better around the corner.With European men, if there’s mutual interest, they keep seeing that person and don’t keep hunting for better options simultaneously. Nor will they freak out when discussions of commitment or future come up.
However, since living in New York, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people from various backgrounds and it’s become clear that there are definite cultural norms specific to European men versus American men (especially New Yorkers).
Sure, they will go out for dinner and do fun activities, but it’s not packaged up in a formal and contrived manner. It’s more organic and instead of defining the relationship in order to know how to act, they let the relationship unfold and the label of boyfriend/girlfriend just naturally develops in the process. European men are comfortable with women, which leads to respect for women.
Perhaps this has to do with their upbringing, where it’s very normal for boys and girls to play and intermingle together.
Then these boys grow up and are exposed to the opposite sex in an abrupt, often sexualized way. This is definitely seen in how they treat not only women, but everyone around them.
The consequence of this is a lack of understanding of women, a lack of comfort and often, a lack of respect. There is a courtesy, consideration, chivalry and thoughtfulness in how they act, behave and engage with others.