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Instead of letting everything coming to a head – with one person walking away out of frustration or being ‘thrown out’ – focus on talking through how this trial separation will work. Key idea for saving your marriage: Focus on improving your communication and listening skills because they become even more important when you’re not under the same roof.Instead of looking for ways to persuade your partner he or she is wrong to need ‘space’, ask questions about how a separation might work. I sum this up as ‘I can ask, you can say no and we can negotiate’ When you’re in a hole, it’s a good idea to stop digging.

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I suggest doing the opposite, so if you clam up, speak up. Lots of trial separations don’t work because the partner who needs space feels that that he or she doesn’t get it.

That’s because they are fielding ten texts and five long emails a day or when their partner comes to collect the children ends up hanging around the house.

I know it’s tough because your fear is out of sight and out of mind (and if that’s the case how can you ‘work’ on your marriage).

A crisis quickly turns into a catastrophe; certainly in my head if not in my relationship as well.

Everything on the surface appears fine and we’re playing ‘happy family’.

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